A very gracious lady was mailing a package to her brother in another state. The box contained a Bible. When the clerk asked if anything inside was breakable, he replied, "Only the Ten Commandments!"
There are only two kinds of people in the world: those who wake up in the morining and say, Good morning Lord and those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning!"
A pastor announced from the pulpit one day, "I have some good news and i have some bad news. The good news is that we have enough money to pay for our new building, the bad news is, that money is still in your pockets!"
Many people want in the front of the line, the back seat in church, and the center of attention!
While driving in Pennsylvania, a family came upon a Amish man in a horse-drawn carriage. The owner of the rig obviously had a sense of humor because he had attached a hand-printed sign to the back of the carriage which read: "Energy efficient vehicle, runs on oats and grass, CAUTION: do not step in the exhaust!
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